Why yes, it’s ok that we can’t ‘do it all’ in a day

It’s 2020. A whole new year. A whole new decade. A whole new me. A whole new list of goals and plans and dreams and things to accomplish...

As I write that, I realize the excitement and also the pressure that comes along with those sentences. Don’t get me wrong, I am a HUGE fan of new. Of setting all the goals and achieving all the things and changing and growing and becoming a better version of myself. I also, however, have become a huge fan of reality. I tell my clients all the time to change one thing at a time. Otherwise, you try to change it all and then a few days or weeks in you ‘cheat’ and then feel like you failed and you’re back to square one. You don’t feel good about yourself and think ‘what’s the point of continuing on now that I already messed it up’. So maybe, in this season of new things, we can be honest with ourselves about what we need to do to reach our goals, and also be honest with what we will do when we feel like we have taken a few steps backwards. Otherwise, we will coast through this year and wake up on New Year’s Day 2021 the same version of ourselves that we are now. I for sure don’t want that to be the case. So let’s unpack this a bit more.

I am going to be honest in saying that I feel a bit disoriented so far this year. When I look at this photo, I feel like this is real life. Standing in the middle of our lives, maybe on the wrong side of the road, trying to decide whether we should go straight, left, right or just stop and reassess. We don’t always know what the next step may be, and that’s ok. I wrote down all my 2020 goals on December 28th while on a cruise through the Caribbean. And in all transparency, I haven’t looked at them again. I found myself overwhelmed by it all, which is abnormal for me. I think it’s because I set this expectation for myself that come January 1, I would somehow wake up with the clearest vision of what forward motion in my life should be. As if that one day would magically shift something in my spirit, and all the thoughts and questions I had leaving 2019 would disappear and be replaced with answers and magic fairy dust sprinkled throughout my life and goals and stuff. Does that sound a bit pessimistic? I really am an optimist. A glass half full, life is good even when bad things are happening person. Which are all good things to think! Yet for me, I think that fuels the achievement based mindset I have and keeps me from being vulnerable in the times that I do feel overwhelmed or down or just confused at what to do next.

December 31, 2019 to January 1, 2020 is the same amount of time between today and tomorrow. I think sometimes we are in the mindset that in those 24 hours of time, we will change our entire lives, reach every goal we set, look in the mirror and love every inch of ourselves, go into work with brand new skill sets and drive and just be badass. When really, it’s just a difference of a day. I do believe that a lot of change can happen in a day, but also know that it takes a lot of days to really create lasting change and implement new things. We have 365 days in 2020. Give yourself grace if you haven’t ‘done it all’ yet. It’s a slow process, growth. Like I tell my clients, and I am telling myself, focus on one thing at a time. Tackle those goals in sections. Allow time for the change to take place. Take this year one day at a time. And come December 31, 2020, we will all look back and smile on the different spaces we are in. It won’t happen in a day. It will happen in lots of days. And that’s good and it’s ok. So today I find myself with my hands raised in surrender, like in the photo below, ready for whatever is to come in 2020. I walk in to this year knowing I can’t control it all, but I can take baby steps forward towards my goals, my dreams and the things that make me come alive. I hope you will join me!